Author Quotes

  • "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence, my friends call it." Edgar Allan Poe
  • "The love of knowledge is a kind of madness." C.S. Lewis, "Out of the Silent Planet" (1/8/10)
  • "...my private opinion is that after the words 'In the sweat of thy brow shalt thou earn thy bread; another clause has dropped out from the original text, running 'In the exasperation of thy souls shalt thou attend social functions.'" C.S. Lewis, "Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis Vol. 1" (9/17/09)
  • "If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore; and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown." Ralph Waldo Emerson (9/16/09)
  • (Description of Charlotte Lucas) "Without thinking highly either of men or of matrimony, marriage had always been her object; it was the only honourable provision for well-educated young women of small fortune, and however uncertain of giving happiness, must be the pleasantest preservative from want." Jane Austen, "Pride and Prejudice" (8/4/09)
  • "Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to noone, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But, in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless-it will change. It will not be broken, it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredemable. To love is to be vulnerable." C.S. Lewis (5/13/09)
  • (Elizabeth to Jane) "Do not be afraid of my running into any excess, of my encroaching on your privilege of universal good will. You need not. There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of either merit or sense." Jane Austen, "Pride and Prejudice" (3/21/09)
  • "If He who in Himself can lack nothing chooses to need us, it is because we need to be needed." C.S. Lewis, "The Problem of Pain" (3/15/09)
  • "Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute." Mark Twain (3/14/09)
  • "How frequently in the course of our lives, the evil which in itself we seek most to shun, and which when we are fallen into it, is the most dreadful to us, is oftentimes the very means or door of our deliverance, by which alone we can be rais'd again from the affliction we are fallen into." Daniel Defoe, "Robinson Crusoe" (2/12/09)
  • "I did avoid a critical personal examination...I referred to all the people of high standing I could think of in the community who would be least likely to know anything about me." Mark Twain, "The Innocents Abroad" (1/10/09)
  • "When we want to be something other than the thing God wants us to be, we must be wanting what, in fact, will not make us happy. We are bidden to 'put on Christ', to become like God. That is, whether we like it or not, God intends to give us what we need, not what we now think we want." C.S. Lewis, "The Problem of Pain" (12/23/08)
  • "Let us never forget what the poor widow did, when we think we are charitable." Charles Dickens, "The Life of Our Lord" (11/30/08)
  • (Writing of champion boxer, Max Baer, in comparison to James J. Braddock) "Everything was so easy for him-but great champions usually are fashioned by adversity." Jeremy Schaap, "Cinderella Man" (11/27/08)
  • Dorian Gray to Lord Henry, "'I don't want to see him alone. He says things that annoy me. He gives me good advice.' Lord Henry smiled. 'People are very fond of giving away what they need most themselves. It is what I call the depth of generosity.'" Oscar Wilde, "The Picture of Dorian Gray" (11/18/08)
  • "Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world's original sin. If the caveman had known how to laugh, History would have been different." Oscar Wilde, "The Picture of Dorian Gray" (11/17/08)
  • "In the same way, it is natural for us to wish that God had designed for us a less glorious and less arduous destiny; but then we are wishing not for more love but for less." C.S. Lewis, "The Problem of Pain" (11/14/08)
  • "Christians have often disputed as to whether what leads the Christian home is good actions, or Faith in Christ. I have no right really to speak on such a difficult question, but it does seem to me like asking which blade in a pair of scissors is most necessary." C.S. Lewis, "Mere Christianity" (11/5/08)
  • "A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other. A solemn consideration, when I enter a great city by night, that every one of those darkly clustered houses encloses its own secret; that every room in every one of them encloses its own secret; that every beating heart in the hundreds of thousands of breasts there, is, in some of its imaginings, a secret to the heart nearest it." Charles Dickens, "A Tale of Two Cities" (11/1/08)
  • "Many of us probably would be better fishermen if we did not spend so much time watching and waiting for the world to become perfect." Norman Maclean, "A River Runs Through It" (10/27/08)
  • "'Business!' cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again. 'Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!'" Charles Dickens, "A Christmas Carol" (10/26/08)
  • "The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use for oneself." Oscar Wilde (10/25/08)
  • "I have been cautioned to talk but be careful not to say anything. I do not consider this a difficult task." Mark Twain, "Nineteenth Century Progress" (10/24/08)
  • "Only keep your ears open and your mouth shut and everything will lead you to everything else in the end." C.S. Lewis, "Surprised by Joy" (10/23/08)
  • "I think that all things, in their way, reflect heavenly truth, the imagination not least." C.S. Lewis, "Surprised by Joy" (10/22/08)
  • "Shasta's heart fainted at these words for he felt he had no strength left. And he writhed inside at what seemed the cruelty and unfairness of the demand. He had not yet learned that if you do one good deed your reward usually is to be set to do another and harder and better one. But all he said out loud was: 'Where is the King?'" C.S. Lewis, "The Horse and His Boy" (10/21/08)
  • "Try to exclude the possibility of suffering which the order of nature and the existence of free wills involve, and you find that you have excluded life itself." C.S. Lewis, "The Problem of Pain" (10/20/08)
  • "If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning..." C.S. Lewis, "Mere Christianity" (10/19/08)

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Monday, September 28, 2009

I love fall. The change in weather from sweltering humidity to crisp autumnal breezes. The array of brilliantly colored leaves. The big yellow school-bus carrying children to the epicenter of learning, a place in which to mold their little characters into the future Madoffs of the world. After two months of being a surrogate mother/babysitter/sheep wrangler, the sight of that hideously tinted transportation unit is a beautiful sight to behold. It brings tears to my eyes, watching those children with their adorable little plastic bookbags waiting faithfully on the curb each morning, eager to broaden the scope of their minds. Of course, the teary eyes could just be a symptom of the terrible cold the little darlings bequeathed to me before abandoning me for the institutions of learning. A librarian's job lies somewhere in the realm between Spanish matador and rodeo clown. The first few weeks of summer proceed, accompanied by the increasingly resigned chant of "don'trunDon'tRunDON'TRUN!!!!!!" which eventually subsides into "Just DON'T bleed on the carpet!" By the end of the summer my immune system is either worn to a frazzle or so strong it could laugh boldly in the face of Swine Flu and a resurgence of the bubonic plague. However, children being the biohazard they are, I never seem to accomplish an escape entirely unscathed.
It all began a long, long time ago, in a land far, far away, where soap was as yet undiscovered. We have children's computers with various games installed, but the children have to come to the desk and ask for headphones, as there are no speakers attached. One day last week a child bounced up to the desk. "CanIcanIcanI......" "Yes, did you need something?" "Uh....yeah....." "And that would be.....?" "Uh, microphones...." "Headphones?" "Yeah, that's what I said....." As I begin to hand them over, the child's modern dance moves suddenly become alarmingly familiar. "Do you need to go to the restroom?" An urgent nod. "Out the door, on the right." More modern dance. "I won't give the headphones away before you get back." "'kay....." "You should run on, before it's too late; certain cleaning duties are NOT in my job description." The child makes a sprint that would bring pride to the heart of Jesse Owens. Before the door swings shut, the child is back at the desk. "Are you done?!" An cheerfully emphatic nod. A sneaking suspicion crept into my mind. "Did you wash your hands?" "Uhhhhh, I don't know....." "Did you ever turn on the faucet at any point in your recent past?" A shrug and unconcerned shake of the head. "GO WASH YOUR HANDS!!! Do you know the song 'Happy Birthday'?" A beaming affirmative. "Sing it twice before you rinse those grimy little digits, 'kay?" My wishes were gloriously complied with, and I felt a false sense of security. Attila the Hun left and soon after a small group of invading mercenaries descended. The soundtrack to my life began to replay. "You got microphones?" "Nope, Britney Spears needed them for her lip-synching concert." "Can I get the microphones?" "Here's the headphones.......Wait, what have you got in your hand?" Turns out it was a piece of hard candy. The child knew I would tell him to spit it out if I saw it in his mouth, so the next logical step was to hide its existence. In his hand. In a hand that had to open two public doors to get to his post in front of my desk. A hand that had very obviously made a scenic detour through the playground. A hand that wiped a nose which was currently performing amazing feats of the Mississippi River impression-type. "When was the last time you washed your hands?" Staring ruminatively at the ceiling, contemplating profoundly. "When I went to the doctor.........." "When was that?" An unconcerned shrug. "Today........" "GO WASH YOUR HANDS!!!!! Do you know the song 'Happy Birthday'?.............." Another triumphant return and bestowal of the headphones. Time travel forward to Saturday morning-I 'awoke' after a sleepless night, feeling as if I had been breaking in a small Clydesdale horse. Every muscle, joint, and hitherto unknown portion of my miserable carcass aches. My head is pounding in a fair imitation of the soundtrack to 'Gladiator.' (Great soundtrack, by the way.) However, I still have to muster up enough life to go to work. Amazingly, I survive, find my way home, and deposit my poor bones under a sheet, a blanket and two comforters. Children should all receive a little yellow sticker upon arrival into the world. Let me wind up this little narrative by saying that Advil PM is one of the most under-appreciated miracles of the modern age.

4 comments:

  1. so this made my day... kelly you crack me up! hope you survive the never-ending stream of germy children :)

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  2. Tell me again why you don't want to take that BS History degree into a classroom?

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  3. HA! The other day I went into my usual diatribe of germ danger (I teach 2nd and 3rd grade). When to wash your hands, how to wash your hands, sanitizer is helpful but not as good as hot water and soap, blah, blah, blah... When we got to the part of HOW to sneeze-face pointed away from others, toward the floor, into your elbow and blah, blah, blah... Just as I said, "Everyone got that?" one of my little ones leans back, points her face up into the sky, eyes closed and blasted a sneeze of monumental proportions. We were seated on the floor in a circle so not a one of us escaped her germ shower. Had her comic timing not been just right I would have been truly angry. Whatcha gonna do? You're a funny kid. Thanks.

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  4. Haha! Thanks for the support, Annelise; I've made it six (seven?) years, but you know, I think all of them are starting to catch up at once......Just in time for an epidemic.....

    As for teaching.....highschool kids know by the time they are that age to wash their hands, right? Okay, so I already know the answer to that one, but "Mr. Rogers likes rhetorical questions...." right?

    That is hilarious about your student. Did any of the other kids even flinch? If they did, at least you know you got through to them, right? I remember this one time, in the dead of winter, this ADULT was hacking and coughing (if it had been during the Middle Ages, I would have just put them out for the death cart to pick up on its way by, they looked that bad) all over the computer keyboard, contaminating the general vicinity. After she left, I casually, so as not to attract too much attention, go over and douse the whole works in Lysol. This child was watching the whole proceeding, and when I was done said, "My teacher does the same thing." "Good person, your teacher......" How many kids were out sick the next day? Good luck, and may the force be with you this winter.

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