Author Quotes

  • "I have great faith in fools; self-confidence, my friends call it." Edgar Allan Poe
  • "The love of knowledge is a kind of madness." C.S. Lewis, "Out of the Silent Planet" (1/8/10)
  • "...my private opinion is that after the words 'In the sweat of thy brow shalt thou earn thy bread; another clause has dropped out from the original text, running 'In the exasperation of thy souls shalt thou attend social functions.'" C.S. Lewis, "Collected Letters of C.S. Lewis Vol. 1" (9/17/09)
  • "If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore; and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown." Ralph Waldo Emerson (9/16/09)
  • (Description of Charlotte Lucas) "Without thinking highly either of men or of matrimony, marriage had always been her object; it was the only honourable provision for well-educated young women of small fortune, and however uncertain of giving happiness, must be the pleasantest preservative from want." Jane Austen, "Pride and Prejudice" (8/4/09)
  • "Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to noone, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully around with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But, in that casket-safe, dark, motionless, airless-it will change. It will not be broken, it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredemable. To love is to be vulnerable." C.S. Lewis (5/13/09)
  • (Elizabeth to Jane) "Do not be afraid of my running into any excess, of my encroaching on your privilege of universal good will. You need not. There are few people whom I really love, and still fewer of whom I think well. The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it; and every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of either merit or sense." Jane Austen, "Pride and Prejudice" (3/21/09)
  • "If He who in Himself can lack nothing chooses to need us, it is because we need to be needed." C.S. Lewis, "The Problem of Pain" (3/15/09)
  • "Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute." Mark Twain (3/14/09)
  • "How frequently in the course of our lives, the evil which in itself we seek most to shun, and which when we are fallen into it, is the most dreadful to us, is oftentimes the very means or door of our deliverance, by which alone we can be rais'd again from the affliction we are fallen into." Daniel Defoe, "Robinson Crusoe" (2/12/09)
  • "I did avoid a critical personal examination...I referred to all the people of high standing I could think of in the community who would be least likely to know anything about me." Mark Twain, "The Innocents Abroad" (1/10/09)
  • "When we want to be something other than the thing God wants us to be, we must be wanting what, in fact, will not make us happy. We are bidden to 'put on Christ', to become like God. That is, whether we like it or not, God intends to give us what we need, not what we now think we want." C.S. Lewis, "The Problem of Pain" (12/23/08)
  • "Let us never forget what the poor widow did, when we think we are charitable." Charles Dickens, "The Life of Our Lord" (11/30/08)
  • (Writing of champion boxer, Max Baer, in comparison to James J. Braddock) "Everything was so easy for him-but great champions usually are fashioned by adversity." Jeremy Schaap, "Cinderella Man" (11/27/08)
  • Dorian Gray to Lord Henry, "'I don't want to see him alone. He says things that annoy me. He gives me good advice.' Lord Henry smiled. 'People are very fond of giving away what they need most themselves. It is what I call the depth of generosity.'" Oscar Wilde, "The Picture of Dorian Gray" (11/18/08)
  • "Humanity takes itself too seriously. It is the world's original sin. If the caveman had known how to laugh, History would have been different." Oscar Wilde, "The Picture of Dorian Gray" (11/17/08)
  • "In the same way, it is natural for us to wish that God had designed for us a less glorious and less arduous destiny; but then we are wishing not for more love but for less." C.S. Lewis, "The Problem of Pain" (11/14/08)
  • "Christians have often disputed as to whether what leads the Christian home is good actions, or Faith in Christ. I have no right really to speak on such a difficult question, but it does seem to me like asking which blade in a pair of scissors is most necessary." C.S. Lewis, "Mere Christianity" (11/5/08)
  • "A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other. A solemn consideration, when I enter a great city by night, that every one of those darkly clustered houses encloses its own secret; that every room in every one of them encloses its own secret; that every beating heart in the hundreds of thousands of breasts there, is, in some of its imaginings, a secret to the heart nearest it." Charles Dickens, "A Tale of Two Cities" (11/1/08)
  • "Many of us probably would be better fishermen if we did not spend so much time watching and waiting for the world to become perfect." Norman Maclean, "A River Runs Through It" (10/27/08)
  • "'Business!' cried the Ghost, wringing its hands again. 'Mankind was my business. The common welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, and benevolence, were, all, my business. The dealings of my trade were but a drop of water in the comprehensive ocean of my business!'" Charles Dickens, "A Christmas Carol" (10/26/08)
  • "The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use for oneself." Oscar Wilde (10/25/08)
  • "I have been cautioned to talk but be careful not to say anything. I do not consider this a difficult task." Mark Twain, "Nineteenth Century Progress" (10/24/08)
  • "Only keep your ears open and your mouth shut and everything will lead you to everything else in the end." C.S. Lewis, "Surprised by Joy" (10/23/08)
  • "I think that all things, in their way, reflect heavenly truth, the imagination not least." C.S. Lewis, "Surprised by Joy" (10/22/08)
  • "Shasta's heart fainted at these words for he felt he had no strength left. And he writhed inside at what seemed the cruelty and unfairness of the demand. He had not yet learned that if you do one good deed your reward usually is to be set to do another and harder and better one. But all he said out loud was: 'Where is the King?'" C.S. Lewis, "The Horse and His Boy" (10/21/08)
  • "Try to exclude the possibility of suffering which the order of nature and the existence of free wills involve, and you find that you have excluded life itself." C.S. Lewis, "The Problem of Pain" (10/20/08)
  • "If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning..." C.S. Lewis, "Mere Christianity" (10/19/08)

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Saturday, February 14, 2009



Now, I know it is the depths of cliche to write a post about/on Valentine's Day, but I couldn't resist; through the years, I've learned there are two groups of people-those who wait, with barely concealed delight, in anticipation of the arrival of this pink-inundated holiday to roll around every year, and those who rail against the injustices of the romantic universe and wear all black in rebellion against the popular (read, according to them-"unoriginal") support of the annual wearing of the heart on the sleeve. I, hopefully, fall into neither category; I simply try to ignore its existence, and have found this tactic to be highly effective.
I do, however, have some thoughts to share on the matter. Nothing much has happened lately, so I've been struggling to detect any small event which would lend itself well to the relation of an entertaining anecdote. Finally, glancing through my planner, and noticing that Valentine's Day was, this year, preceded by a Friday the 13th (a fact I find highly amusing and befitting), I have hopefully hit upon something.
I began wondering why Friday the 13th is considered unlucky, certainly there had to be some historical basis for it. Which led me to think.........why and how has Valentine's day become the highly commercialized, sickeningly false-sentimental celebration of something which more often than not makes us act like total morons, something we give the euphemisms 'love' and 'romance'? I have learned that we have, more often than not, degenerated from the historical origins of a holiday, and taken it so completely out of context that our predecessors wouldn't recognize it if they suddenly found themselves thrust in the midst of our commercially-driven celebrations.
(First-Friday 13th-In some ancient cultures, Friday, or their sixth day of the week, whatever appellation they chose to give it, was a lucky day. However, it gained a bit of a bad connotation when Christ was crucified on a Friday, a sentiment which was only heightened later in history, when Friday became execution day in England; likewise, one reason 13 is considered an unlucky number in our culture, a strong derivation from English culture, is that the executioner was paid 13 pence for each execution he performed.)
Now, my reasons for why Valentine's Day is such an overly-advertised holiday, which we have turned into something it was never intended to be, which is why we should just ignore it......all with historical fact to vindicate my opinion. Prepare yourselves:
1. The reason we call it 'Valentine's Day' hearkens back to the early days of Christianity. The most predominant legend has it that Valentine was a priest in Rome, who, in defiance of a decree given forth by Emperor Claudius II, continued to perform marriages in secret. (If anyone wants to know why marriages were banned, I'll explain, but, as it has no bearing on this argument, I'll omit that detail for now...) Valentine was arrested and beheaded, but only after penning a note to his jailer's daughter, which he signed "from your Valentine." He was later canonized for his noble sacrifice for the illusion of everlasting love. So, someone is beheaded by a twisted, cruel, deranged regime.........how romantic! (Incidentally, as I said, this is only the predominant story circulating. In actuality, there are multiple St. Valentine's listed, hailing from different regions, as being executed on 14 February. So, again, I argue-there is no solid foundation for this eye-twitch inducing holiday.)
2. Cupid, the most recognizable symbol of this garish holiday, an adorable, rosy-cheeked cherub who desires nothing more than to help hapless individuals humiliate themselves, all in the name of love. Hmmmm, about that......According to Greek mythology, Cupid was involved in a rather unfortunate romantic entanglement which didn't end well for anyone. The story is replete with jealousy and cruel machinations (I know that word sounds like one you shouldn't use in polite society, but it's okay, seriously, look it up.) There was a young mortal woman, Psyche, who was possessed of a beauty which rivaled even Venus's. (Why is it never, 'she was so intelligent that even the gods were jealous'? I mean, really, it's okay to be dumb as long as you're decorative?) Venus became so jealous she sent her son, Cupid, to cause Psyche to fall in love with the most loathsome creature imaginable. But, surprise, surprise, Cupid falls in love with Psyche....(Raise your hand if you already want to join the rest of us who are in the corner, gagging.........) So, blah, blah, leave out some details, over time, Psyche is sent to live on a mountain by herself. But, as everyone is willing to make amends and rectify hurts for attractive people, the West Wind feels sorry for Psyche and moves her to a lovely country where she becomes romantically involved with Cupid, although she never actually sees his face. (Sounds a bit like online dating, doesn't it? Boy, those Greeks really were progressive thinkers with their 'democracy' and all.....) But, alas, true love, even blind true love (I'm sorry, I repeat myself), never proceeds unhindered. Psyche's sisters come for a visit, become jealous and convince her she needs to know what her (now) husband looks like. Okay, okay, this is sometimes described as pernicious, but personally I think the sisters were only being rational, which is sometimes unfortunately misconstrued as being pernicious when it interferes with 'love.' She takes their advice, but he awakens, and, hurt at her 'distrust,' flees the palace. Where does he flee to? Back to Mama......yep, that's the kind of man we all need, ladies. Venus becomes even more angry at Psyche, now that her baby boy's heart has been broken, so she decides to take her revenge. (Talk about epitome of mother-in-law-from-hades.) Blah, blah, time passes, Psyche's miserable without her man, someone else comes to help her out of distress, because she can't take care of herself (but hey, her hair looked GREAT), and she goes to find Cupid. Venus then gives Psyche a box and tells her she must go to the 'underworld,' fill the box with beauty and bring it back to her. So, beauty can be bought in a box, apparently, if you're willing to go through Hell for it. On the return trip, Psyche becomes curious and wants some of the beauty for herself. (Sounds like backstage at the Miss America pageant.) She opens the box and falls into a death-like stupor. Cupid, regretting running back to Mama, comes to find her, and wakes her from her deathlike stupor. They get married and live happily ever after. The end.
Does anyone else find this disturbing rather than romantic? Maybe I just find romance disturbing in general. It's a total, voluntary abandonment of reason and logic......
3. For many years, Valentine's Day was not remembered for it's romantic potential, but a brutal massacre, spawned by the rivalries of two warring gangs during the Prohibition era. On February 14, 1929, Al Capone had seven members of the rivaling gang of Bugs Moran mowed down in cold blood. The murders were so heinous that they even shocked a country that had become nearly immune to such horrors due to their regular occurrence, and the date was, for years afterward, connected in the minds of the general public, with Valentine's Day.
See? Florists, chocolate factories, and Hallmark have all reconstructed the day to suit their shallow purposes. So, if you ask me, we should take Valentine's Day off the calendar, as it has been twisted from its historical origins. My loathing for Valentine's Day is strictly academic..........I think I'll go watch a program on the History Channel about the St. Valentine's Day Massacre.......Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.


Monday, January 5, 2009

(This is a "re-post" of a previous post which I took down, as it seemed a bit too long, too sarcastic, too confusing, and, as one person told me "too full of words I have to think about/look up..." Which, incidentally, I still haven't decided was a compliment or a complaint...Anyway, here it is again, as there were some questions (okay "a question") asked about its whereabouts....)

Hello and Happy New Year! Now, this greeting may seem completely incongruous juxtaposed against the photo to the left, and may appear to hover in perilously close proximity to the uncomfortable division between sincerity and downright sarcasm, but, fortunately in this case, it has remained securely on the side of sincerity. (I decided to attempt to stem the tide of sarcasm which occasionally escapes without my consent; and, to aid me in, as Harper Lee states in To Kill A Mockingbird, "the fruitless effort to teach me group dynamics..." or, in other words, a step towards "self-improvement," which is my pitiful excuse of a "New Year's resolution," I have made a few changes in the upper echelons of the sarcasm border patrol. Yes, 'a,' I only made one; there's no need to be a glutton when so many others are in much more dire need of self-constructive lists, as they believe in the power of self-improvement. The remainder of the disillusioned, sarcastic population, who have come to fully appreciate, in all its glory, the phrase "exercise in futility" (of which I have recently learned, to my surprise, I have been named president-elect; I didn't even put in a bid. Go figure. Anyway....) have come to the liberating conclusion that A) I'm still going to eat whatever I want B)I'm not going to make it to the gym any more frequently than I did last year-which was a grand total of...let's see...365 days divided by 5 days each week plus 1 Saturday a month....simplify the fractions....which is....hmmm......zero. (And everyone thought I wasn't good at math.) C) Denying me my Constitutional right to sarcasm would be as cruel as trying to give a Persian cat a bad 80's perm. However, I have recently made the heartbreaking decision that I must put forth a Herculean effort to monitor the sarcasm, as Emily is getting to a very interesting cognitive stage in which she hears and repeats everything.......Of course, this is somewhat akin to attempting to harness the powers of Niagara Falls with a kitchen colander. But, for the sake of future generations, I must be willing to make sacrifices. (I'm such a good, self-sacrificing aunt, aren't I?)




Yet, all came to a head today (I'm so proud of myself, I clung to my resolution five whole days! That is at least 4 1/2 days longer than last year! "One small step for man, one great leap for mankind!") at work, when someone turned in The Purpose Driven Life. Suddenly, my senses were restored. The Purpose Driven Life, the book I bought along with Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, neither of which I ever cracked the cover. I'm willing to bet, though, that finishing, nay, opening "self-improvement" tomes you have invested in, which falls in the category of "finishing what you start" or "completing tasks you've set for yourself" are mentioned somewhere in both of them...I just wouldn't know where, since I've never seen the inside of either. I had the beautiful epiphany, standing there, holding this remarkable (or so I'm told) book, that I have not the wherewithal to hold to serious New Year's resolutions which are suddenly going to catapult me into the upper strata of the hierarchy of overachievers who's life-long ambition since the age of three has been to become a CEO of a Fortune 500 company. So, I have to admit that, yes, The Purpose Driven Life, helped clarify and simplify my life. Considerably.




We are told so often that a life lived without risks is a life not fully realized or appreciated, that we need to be assertive and let nothing stand in the way of what we set out to accomplish, that we should live on two hours of sleep a night in order to be able to fit in all that a "well-rounded" person should accomplish in a given day. I work best on a good ten hours of sleep, my personality could arguably be described as 'diffident,' taking life-changing risks is not my forte. I made the mistake of being adventurous with food and trying frog-legs for the first time at a chain Mexican restaurant in Washington, D.C; (just as one would assume from that short description of events, things did not turn out well.) That was both the birth and death of my foray into the world of 'trying new things.' (I know, in retrospect, I probably should have started smaller....but, retrospect maintains the distinct advantage of being completely useless, as there is nothing you can act upon at that point...) Which is why I adore a website a friend and fellow sarcastrian kindly introduced me to-http://www.despair.com/viewall.html-Inexplicably, this is just my form of motivation. It is devoted to acerbic, sarcastic humor; has the advent of the internet provided anything more wonderful, I might ask? (Rhetorically, of course.) Just by way of further illustration, I have provided a few of my personal favorites.

I have discovered, then, that for some of the more unfortunates of the populace, "self-realization" and "self-improvement," both of which have gained hordes of loyal followers since Dr. Phil first aired, are not only impossible for them, but completely irreconcilable. For people like us, our "full potential," the very definition of "self-realization" could not possibly be reached without sarcasm. The very thought is unthinkable. Yet, "self-improvement" would demand that we abandon self-deprecation, irony and misanthropy, the greatest weapons in the sarcastic arsenal. One might just as well take a life-long vow of silence. So, much to my consternation, I have realized that I must choose. Not that it's much of a choice, mind you.

So, thus is written the epitaph of a New Year's resolution. Anyway, I console myself with the thought that, most likely, Emily's chances of having missed the sarcasm gene are slim to none anyway. Maybe I could volunteer my services, with the accompanying new-found knowledge, at a local self-help group....

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

This post is unfortunately going to be aesthetically bare; I have no pictures to post, or anything fun to write about, but I do have a story that I simply have to share.
There is an older woman who comes in to the library regularly; she is quite a talker, so occasionally the conversations can be rather lengthy (the shortest one I have ever been participatory in was around 20 minutes, if that gives you any idea), and, developing ADD characteristics.....(what was I saying? No, just kidding; anyway.....) as I've gotten older, my attention sometimes wanders. I have learned about her family, her teaching career, her political views, her views on social concerns, in short, everything that could possibly be covered with a near stranger has been covered. Over time, I learned that she has one son who married rather late in life, and he and his wife were not planning to have children. About this time last year, she (the library patron) came in and announced that the son and daughter-in-law were having a baby. She said that, yes, they were excited, even though they had not planned on this. But, she said, they just recently found out that, since the daughter-in-law was past a certain age, and the risk of complications after that age increase drastically, the baby would have certain mental handicaps. After coming home from the doctor's appointment, the wife began to cry. Not that she did not want the child now, but you can understand the shock of a discovery such as that, especially after so many recent shocks. The husband (being a typical man, bless their hearts), asked her why she was crying (I know, I know, but he redeems himself, trust me). She told him that, everyone else always carries on, after the birth of their child, about how perfect the baby is, and our baby won't be perfect. The husband replied, "It will be perfect for us." (I told you he redeemed himself.) Now that, if I may say so, is the kind of man they should all be. (At least, the kind of man he was at that exact moment...) To realize the worth of an as yet unborn child, on whom they had not planned, and who was to come into the world carrying with it an inherent set of difficulties other parents would not experience, and love the child unconditionally, considering this baby the perfect one for them, takes a real man. So, keep your diamonds, roses, poetry, and otherwise useless superfluities, ladies, I'll take a man like that.

I'm sorry, this may be an uninteresting story to tell, but I just had to share it, because I just thought it so lovely, and I couldn't help but think of it, as this was the time of year I heard it. Hope everyone has a good Christmas and a wonderful start to the new year!

Thursday, December 18, 2008



So, I was tagged for the photo thing (a long time ago, but among the distractions of things such as exams, visiting family, and work, I haven't had time to focus on priorities, like my blog. Ah, excuses, excuses.....); I didn't like the photo in the fourth folder (I just need to delete that whole folder anyway...), so I chose one I did like. I know it is cheating in the most low manner, but I think we have already established the fact that my character is hopelessly, irretrievably flawed, so we'll move on and do the best we can with what we have to work with....Anyway, photo-I went with my grandfather and other World War II veterans on a trip to D.C. to visit the WWII memorial. I was the "chaperone" for a group of men, of whom the youngest was 80-plus; at first I scoffed at the idea that they needed a chaperone, but after sitting at the back of the bus as they reminisced about their days in the service, I was brought to the conclusion that perhaps the organizers were not as out of touch with reality as I at first assumed. The good news is, our capital still stands. While we were there we visited the other memorials; I had never seen the Vietnam memorial (that I remembered, anyway, which means it very possibly could have happened and trickled straight through the sieve which is euphemistically called my "memory.") It was quite an experience. Although there were crowds of tourists milling about, and a busy road ran by in close proximity, as you rounded the curve which led up to the memorial, all the sounds became muted, and everyone instinctively began to talk in near-whispers. I was walking down the Wall, looking at all the names, of all these lives that were forfeited, and I have to admit, my eyes did water a bit. No matter your political stance or opinion on anything, I think it would be impossible to be presented with a palpable form of lives given for something other than themselves, to view something such as this which was an entirely separate entity from the maelstrom which is politics, something which exists entirely as a reminder of the voluntary immolation of some on the behalf of the whole, and walk away unaffected. If you can, it is as in King Lear, "you are men of stones." (5.3.259-sorry, all my term-paper training demands that I cite it, just for future reference...). Alas, I digress terribly...the photo. I was walking along, and although there were many small wreaths and such, propped at various points along the Wall, this one item just caught my attention, for some reason. I suppose amidst the larger, more elaborate things, the simplicity of this one was just very poignant. I'm not sure if it will be too small to read, in the post, but it says that this man asked the girl he loved to marry him; she agreed, the day after she got his letter, he was killed in Vietnam. I don't know, it just brings everything down to a much more personal, individual, human level. So, I'm sure that is much more of an explanation than anyone ever wanted, but there it is.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

I survived Thanksgiving!!! It was touch and go there for a while, things existed in a very precarious state during various moments throughout the day, but all in all, I am whole, even if not unscathed. One down, one more to go....However, it was a beautiful day, and my family and I were up near Lake Gaston. (There were even hills!!!! I love North Carolina, truly, but the area we live in just looks like it has been leveled out with a wood-planer. If it weren't for the trees it would be, "Look, honey! Guests! Hurry, clean the house; they'll be here in three days!" Anyway...) So, true to form, I took my camera and ran. (Well, maybe not "ran;" I'd just eaten two platefuls of food and two helpings of dessert, so it was more like "mosey and hope no one sees you before your exit strategy can be effectively cut off...") The fresh, crisp, not to mention dead silent air was very refreshing, and my "equilibrium" (definition: mental stability) was soon (somewhat) restored. (I began the day at a deficit, so this was as much as I could feasibly ask for.)
Everyone is probably sick of photos of random things like trees, leaves, old rusty falling apart junk, and the...well, junk...I usually take photos of, but hey, my blog, right? Anyway, here are a few from my time on the front-lines. As you can see, I took my life in my own hands...

The house in the reflection is my uncle's. If Emily Dickinson lived in a house with a view like this, I can see why she never went out in public for the last years of her life. (And yes, I do know she was agoraphobic and never really left her room, and so my comparison doesn't really hold up...but, again, my blog...I can be as inaccurate as I want. It is a bit too late to worry about making myself sound ignorant, so...)

I came across the next one on my (prolonged) walk. I just thought it was so interesting looking, with the perfectly defined shadow of the smaller leaf on the larger one.




And this was just too wonderful a color combination to simply walk by....My favorite is the last, though. We stopped at a gas station just outside Greenville, and I saw it in the field behind the station, begging to be photographed.

So, that was my Thanksgiving, such as it was....Hope everyone else had a wonderful one, with lots of fun, love, and good food!

Monday, November 24, 2008

So, the holidays are upon us; during this time of year I am inevitably plunged into the depths of a disconcerting state of ambivalence for about two months. I love some aspects of the seasonal transition: the crisp air, the way the sky seems such a clear blue at times that it could shatter like a fragile piece of china, the profound silence that settles over things, making it seem as if you are standing in the middle of a vast expanse of your own, completely alone (I know that sounds horrendous to some, but I love it), wrapping up warm and spending a few hours with a book, the anticipation of giving someone a gift you know they'll love, I love all of that...Yet, there is always the bitter to contrast the sweet. For me, the bitter gall is having to face the relatives eeeevery year, and explain, yet again, that no, I am not dating anyone, and that yes, I am still in school, and no, I won't be teaching...I need a sandwich board.... Now, I know their intentions are good (well, generally speaking), and so I try to bear it as gracefully as possible. But, we all know that grace does not hold a prominent place in my vocabulary, either physically or socially speaking. Therefore, I generally end up locating any stray children I can spot and begging to be allowed to join them. Last year was actually quite entertaining; I spent an hour and a half at the family Christmas "thing" spinning a plastic bottle cap on a wood floor with five spell-bound children. You just can't beat that. Anyway...memory lane is currently under construction, so we'll have to take a detour... Rather than arriving empty-handed, with nothing but a well-rehearsed set of "under-the-radar" sarcasms, I have decided to come prepared. Instead of reciting my scripted part to blank stares and the occasional "Uhh-huuhhh" that tells you that you will be answering these same questions entirely too soon, I have a set of explanatory clips to display...The first explains why I am not dating. (Now, everyone keep in mind that this is entirely for fun, don't take it seriously. Seriously...) I have just never been adept at the "group thing." Therefore, my "strike-up-a-conversation" skills are as underdeveloped as my coordination skills...This proves a hindrance. That is why Paris, a character from the show "The Gilmore Girls" is sooooo my hero. This is a clip of Paris at a "speed-dating" session at Yale. My favorite part is "I'm a drama major..." "ding-ding-ding!!!" (Nothing against drama majors; I can't get through a conversation without some random movie quote coming up...Just as far as personalities go, mine is the complete antithesis of everything represented by drama as a subject for study...)


So, that takes care of the opening question... For the "Are you going to teach?" that is posed when they hear "History" I have this clip. This clip explains why it would be better for the high-school aged children if I don't teach. Some have the gift, some of us don't...

(My favorite? "Frankly, the stupid is easier. I can scare the stupid out of you, but the lazy runs deep." Come on, you have to admit it's funny...)

This clip explains why it would be better for me not to teach. Let's just say I made it as far as doing the required observations at a local high-school and this clip came to mind....




So, "ta-da!" There is my explanation for everything. (Again, I have to reassert this disclaimer: Don't take this too seriously; reference the quote from 11/17/08, by Oscar Wilde.)

Sunday, November 16, 2008

So, right about now I should really be working on term papers (yes, plural-paperssss. "Should," of course, being the operative word. I feel kind of like Jack Nicholson at the end of "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" by the end of the semester. The inmates have taken over the asylum and Nurse Ratched finally succeeded in getting that lobotomy....) But, there is a bright spot of hope in the midst of this deluge of misery. (It isn't really that bad, but what is life if you can't use a little hyperbole every now and then?) There are others like me....this could potentially go any number of directions, horrifying and cataclysmic, or 'there is safety in numbers.' As the saying goes, "Everyone is insane except me and thee...and sometimes I worry about thee." And then...I remembered this...This, in a nutshell, is my college experience. The massive control panel with innumerable identical choices reminds me of trying to navigate at the beginning of the semester...finding the right classes, the right time to get everything worked out with your work schedule, etc. When the one being evaluated so confidently places his finger on one switch and throws that look of triumph as if to say, "Ha! This is it! I know what I'm doing!" The complete lack of expression on the evaluator's face...it all seems so familiar. I am currently in the throes of trying to graduate next semester, so I am at the point when they suddenly reveal to you all of the things you "should have done your first semester..." All the while, I am sifting through my bag, vainly attempting to find my ever-handy brown paper bag to breathe into. (You learn to deal with these hyperventilation-inducing moments because the argument "If I had only known ..." has been worn to the bone and has yet to receive any sympathy...You eventually catch on and come prepared.) Then, as there is no indication of discouragement or encouragement, the poor thing vainly points to numerous other random switches, with no hope of any direction being provided...Again, that sounds very familiar... You can see his confidence visibly deflate. Finally, his utter frustration at the futility of his efforts overwhelming him, he slams his head into the control panel, running over every switch...If you know you're most likely going to go down, go down in a blaze of glory, with style...Then, miraculously, there is salvation...He succeeds!!! He is nearly there, when he releases the switch too soon... Yet again, how familiar...You think you have finally, inadvertently done something right...then...you still screw it up. So, Pixar has succinctly summed up the last four years of my life...I hope you enjoy it more than I have...

Monday, November 10, 2008

I know it has been a mere three (? who knows; "not very many" there, we'll make it simple) days since my last post. I doubt anyone has even read it as of yet; if I hadn't written it, I probably wouldn't have read it myself. In fact, the only thing I've read, thought, or mulled over for the past...however long...is British history to 1688. To be more specific, the fall of Anne Boleyn, the political and personal events that culminated in the unfortunate separation of head and shoulders. And yet, no matter how much I read, how many different reasons are given for this rather unpleasant episode, the fact still remains that she was beheaded. It may just be an unintellectual and/or naive view of things to take, but it does seem to me that the "whys" and "wherefores" are rather superfluous. She had her head lopped off, I mean, seriously, does it really matter why? I don't think it would have given her any comfort to know that historians are still debating the exact reasons for her downfall. Personally, I wouldn't care. "Okay, wonderful, you know why I'm in the Tower of London. But, regardless of the reasons, I'm in the Tower of London. Now, if you had a file, or a blueprint, then you might actually be useful..." I suppose it is like Mark Twain once said, "Things ne'er do go smoothly in weddings, suicides, or courtships."

Enough of my self-pitying whining, though. Now that we are officially in the second week of November, I feel justified in thinking about Christmas. I started playing Christmas music a month ago (my Dad just shakes his head as he walks by). One of the great things about Christmas is that no one cares how puerilely you behave (within reason), if it is in the spirit of the season, and can be categorized as a "tradition." Our traditions seem to revolve around *surprise* movies. There are many classic Christmas moments. What would Christmas be without "I triple dog-dare you!", a cold flag pole, and a playground full of children, waiting with bated breath for the challenge to work its magic?
One I always liked to watch at Christmas was an animated version of Oscar Wilde's "The Selfish Giant." Wilde had his issues, bless his heart, but you have to admit that he wrote wonderfully. (It is interesting to note that he fell in love with a woman and was completely devastated when she turned around and married Bram Stoker (author of Dracula). Personally, I don't think it says much for her, that she took up with those who led lives of such complete dissipation, and then married someone who could write so prolifically about a Transylvanian count who was infamous for his cruelty, even if said author did turn him into a fictional character. Like I said, doesn't say much for her, does it? Anyway...)
All that aside, Wilde's "The Selfish Giant" is a beautiful children's story that isn't just for children. If you have never heard it, you should look up a copy and read it, it will be worth your while. It is about a giant who owned a beautiful garden at the top of the hill above a small town. The giant had been away, living by the sea for years, and so the children of the town had become accustomed to playing in his garden. One day, the giant suddenly returns and throws them all from the garden, building a wall to keep "trespassers" out, leaving the children wandering forsaken out in the cold, windy streets. It is always a heart-wrenching thing to me, when the narrator tells how the children would wander around outside the giant's wall and say to each other, "How happy we were there!" So, the giant gets his wish, he is left alone, no one passes his gates, not even fall, who laments his selfishness and therefore does not offer her bounty and beauty to his garden. The spring refuses to come, for it misses the children. Winter, frost, and the cold North wind come to live in the giant's garden, for it is their ideal. All day long the wind howls, winter spreads her mantle, and frost breathes on all living things. One day, the giant hears something he can't place. He opens his window and sees a bird, swaying on a barren branch and chirping cheerfully. The giant becomes excited, wondering how the bird has come to be there when he spies a corner of the garden which has bloomed. Rushing downstairs, he sees that a small aperture has opened in his wall, through which the children have come in. The giant sees his error and begins to tumble the wall he so selfishly constructed to his own detriment. The garden becomes a beautiful abundance of blooms and children's laughter. As they see the giant's approach, they become frightened and run away, and the garden once more withdraws itself. I won't give anymore away, but the clip is an abbreviated version, so I thought I would explain a little more of what led up to the ending.
I just always think of this one at Christmas, because of what it ends up being about.



The next one is funny (at least to me). "Carol of the Bells" has always been one of my family's Christmas favorites, and so Heather and I used to love watching this one when we were young, and it seems to be one of those things that, if it strikes you funny once, it is just always going to be funny. I just think it is hilarious, when you listen to the "announcer" at the beginning, that he says that he "has a hunch" that it is going to be a wonderful performance. I know, I know, I'm a dork; but hey, it is still funny.



The next one needs neither introduction nor explanation, but I will say this: they cut a small hole in the flagpole and created a vacuum inside. Without telling the child actor what they had done, they waited for him to lean into the flagpole and then switched on the suction. In other words, the reaction you see on film is authentic, he isn't acting at all. Poor kid, they'd never get away with it nowadays. But sometimes you just have to take one for the team, don't you? (I always have an uncomfortable, sneaking suspicion, every time I watch this, though, that I am looking at my own (hypothetical) children in the form of the short, scrawny, sarcastic know-it-all in the striped cap who orchestrates the whole fiasco. (Or success, whichever viewpoint you choose to see it from, I suppose).)



(I have to add a similar story of my own. Well, not mine, but my Dad's. When he was a fairly young (but old enough to know better) child, he had been outdoors, playing, when he decided he needed a drink of water. When he went to the freezer to get ice for his glass, he realized there was no ice. So, the next logical thing, he decides, is to lick the metal lever that operates the ice-maker, as it is covered in a thin layer of ice itself...Yeah...'nough said.)

I also had to put in a list of some of my favorite Christmas music. Yes, it does have a lot of the same songs, but they are all different versions, so hopefully there will be something for everyone. I included "Sabbath Prayer" from "Fiddler on the Roof" because I remember the first time I ever watched it as a child, was during the winter, close to Christmas. Plus, it seems as if many of the most poignant moments of the movie occur during the winter; when the second eldest daughter is leaving, as they sit on the train platform, or when the youngest daughter marries the Russian soldier, or the very end, when the Jews are being expelled. I go through multiple boxes of Kleenex watching that movie.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Exciting news!!!! They have made what appears to be a very good film version of "The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas." I have put in a link to the movie trailer (hopefully it works). If it looks depressing, I have to admit that, yes, in a way (okay, alright, in a number of ways), it is. BUT... before you dismiss it entirely, just take a look. It is a wonderful work that has innumerable points of inestimable worth. It is ultimately about humanity. Not necessarily humanity in noun form, as in, the human race itself, but humanity in the sense of what makes us human. The book is about what we do with this knowledge, for it is a form of knowledge. It illustrates how it can be taken and twisted, tortured into an unrecognizable, hideous derivative of what it was meant to be, but also, how, in the same circumstances which breed these monstrous echoes of what we were designed to become, there is hope. There is always a chance to learn compassion, to feel empathy, to show mercy. It is what we decide to become, not what we are told to become that matters. It makes you think heavily on just how far your own depth of character runs, how you view the people on the other side of fences, whatever fences there may be for us. Are those fences self-constructed? Does it matter which side of the fence you view the world from? How do our actions and decisions resound in the lives of those around us? How can you judge someone, when there is no way of understanding motives, circumstances, history, etc.? (See the quote, in my quote section, from "A Tale of Two Cities.") What makes us human, and how far are we from forfeiting that humanity? Would we forfeit that humanity? We all say we wouldn't, but one never knows what one will do in unforeseeable circumstances. Anyway, enough of the heavy, brain-picking stuff. To lighten things up a bit, I also posted the link for a clip I have to watch every once in a while when I'm getting a bit too stressed or irritable (or grinding my nose in depressing, unanswerable questions, which, as you can see is unfortunately my wont occasionally). I don't know if it will really be funny to anyone else, but it is just too funny to me. It isn't what happens, really, but the newscasters' reactions. Be sure you have the sound on, to be able to fully appreciate it.


http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi751566873/


Monday, November 3, 2008

I absolutely cannot believe I forgot to add this little Oliver Twist. Seriously, look at the kid, he would be a perfect Oliver Twist. He could possibly scrape by as David Copperfield...but he just "is" Oliver Twist; you can just picture him being taken under the wing of the "Artful Dodger," being tutored by Fagin, the forlorn orphan (kind of redundant, are there any orphans who aren't forlorn?) who has an amazing capacity to create a profound sense of pathos, can't you? (Okay, I can see now that I seriously need to read something besides C.S. Lewis and Charles Dickens.....) Either way, isn't he just the cutest? Not cuter than Curtis, of course, but at least as cute. He looks like his puppy just ran away, or he dropped his candy in the sand, or, you know, something really, truly tragic like that...These other ones were cute, too. For some reason they make me think of the "Lost Boys" in "Peter Pan," or Huck Finn, Tom Sawyer, Ben Rogers, and Joe Harper in "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer." (See, I do read something besides Lewis and Dickens!) I don't think there has ever been a set of happier children. They got to sleep outside, cook over an open fire, go without bathing for...long enough. The simple pleasures in life....




After taking this one, I had "Little Drummer Boy" stuck in my head all day. It was a loooooooong afternoon. "It's a Christmas classic!", you argue. Yes, I understand, but, in its own way, "It's a Small World," is a classic in its own right. See, I've got that stuck on replay in your head now, don't I? It's not fun, is it? That's what I thought. Well, to get rid of it, just hum "Little Drummer Boy," that ought to cure it.

Saturday, November 1, 2008







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Emily assisted me in writing this post. I think I may have discovered the next Harper Lee, Winner of the Nobel for Literature.

Well, I have a confession. I have fought, all my life (and apparently in vain) to prevail against the stereotypical "Southern" behaviour (or at least the less admirable facets of its composite). Alas, "Nature vs. Nurture?" Are rednecks born, or are they made? Apparently, they are born and simply compounded upon. Now, give this said Southern History major individual a camera, a beautiful fall day, and a re-enactment of the failure which still rankles inhabitants of the vast lands south of the Mason-Dixon line, and you have Frankenstein's monster, released upon the unsuspecting world. Yes, my friends, I not only "ran across," I sought out a re-enactment today. A small place, called Fort Branch, near Hamilton, has a yearly re-enactment of a battle which was waged there. Maybe it is just me, an anomaly among the 'typical' Southerner, but it does seem a bit unhealthy that there is a fascination with re-creating the Pyhrric victories of something (a civil war) which nearly every other country on the face of the earth struggles to forget and move away from. And we still lose the war...every time. Let's continually underscore that fact "welostwelostwelostwelostwelost." Just give me a paper-cut and pour lemon juice on it. It is a good thing, however, that we did lose. Can you imagine "Dueling Banjos" being the new national anthem? (I can say that because I'm southern. It's kind of a "Bless your heart...." thing.)

I have to admit, this was ridiculously fun. They had the two camps set up, furnished with tents, which housed cots covered with handmade quilts, tin utensils, camp-stools, tallow candles, etc. There was even a "calvary." Kid you not. These people take their fun very seriously. I wandered around for nearly three and a half hours, snapping like a mad-man. The most "excitement" occurred when I inadvertently made some new "friends." I was wandering around, trying to catch the re-enactors at ease, un-posed, and wandered into one area of the "Confederate" side of camp. I incorrectly assumed that everyone would be ready for wanderers such as myself, but, quite regrettably, I was wroooooong. I wandered into one camp area, and was stunned into a state of utmost alarm by the shriek "LADY IN CAMP!!!!!!" in a tone which could suitably be followed by a revolving red light and a shrill siren blaring "ah-wuhhaahh, ah-wuhhaahh." I don't know who was the most surprised, them or me ("And we have a tie!"). Apparently, I'd caught them in the midst of their morning toilet (a.k.a-"getting ready," not...well, you know...something else...). How do you gracefully get out of a situation like that? Answer: you don't. You suck it up, ask permission to snap a few shots (when they get ready), and run like a jack-rabbit. I posted a couple or three examples of the, no exaggeration, three hundred, shots I took (heaven bless digital). The child in the top, "Curtis," has been the salvation of my parents' grandchildren from my side. I like children, love them, really, but after the summer reading program ends at work each year, I am thoroughly convinced they belong behind a strong plexiglass wall. Like monkeys at the zoo. We are protected from them, and they are protected from us. It is win-win. So, in the hypothetical situation that I hypothetically have hypothetical children, they are replaced at the end of those three months by hypothetical goldfish. Twenty-five cents and you feed them once a week. However, Curtis saved my hypothetical children. Curtis was the cutest freakin' dang thing I have ever seen. I was seriously considering beginning my kidnapping career, he was that cute. Then there were the "sentries" on the bridge who demanded a password. A password, which I was informed, began with "V" and sounded like "Virginia." Imagine my shock when my first guess, "Virginia," proved to be correct. That college education is proving to be worth every penny. I have to say, I loved this one, with the back-lighting and everything. The weather was absolutely beautiful today, and the lighting was (almost) perfect. I know it sound s a bit unbalanced to get so excited over light particles, but lighting can make or break the best of shots; so, good lighting is always a blessing. Anyway, if these samples are well-received, I might post some more, but right now, it is late, and you get serious jet-lag with time travel.